How did you know you wanted to adopt?
( Bless you if you actually make it through this book of a post, its more for me and so I have the details in writing.)
or as hans solo says, "Never tell me the odds!"
Well for me, ( Courtney) it started way back in 1998 when I went on a
missions trip to Mexico and held and played with kiddos in a foreign country….I
didn’t even go to an orphanage, I played with kids who had parents, but I saw
their parents struggle, I remember going to the home of a family , looking in
their 12X12’ home that was built for them by previous missions teams, and I saw
their one family bed, covered so badly in flies that you could barely see the
color of the blanket, and I saw their modest prepping food area which was also
covered in flies… I saw their water bucket in front of their home, they would
pay for a truck to come by and fill it with water, and we later saw wild horses
drinking from their water bucket… I left Mexico realizing that these people
literally had nothing, but were so happy. They trusted God with what they had,
and what they needed. I could see how parents could be so poor they can’t even provide
for one more mouth, and get to the very desperate point of leaving their kiddos
at orphanage doors.
I then went to bible college and on my way there I visited a
church, and this lady came up to me after the service and said, “I know this
may sound weird to you but God told me to share this with you, it may not make
sense now, but I want you to journal it and save it, and it may make sense
later on down your road….” Of course I said….”okay….” She said, “God told me
you are going to be a mother of many nations, specifically the continent Africa
came to mind.” I promised her I would
write it down, and literally never thought about it except one time when I had
a very vivid dream of being in the middle of a pretty big room full of sweet African
faces of little kiddos, and I woke up and remembered what she had said….
I spent my second and
third semesters in Lima, Peru. I traveled while I was there to remote amazon
villages, deep in the jungle, to little communities set in the vast Andean
Mountain range, and coastal towns where we had our hair braided and slept on
beaches. One thing remained…. Poverty. So much poverty.
In that year in South America I was able to do so much
outreach, one day we walked into an orphanage… I was able to hold brand new
babies, cuddle with toddlers and make them laugh, and then have a million kids
hanging all over me… their commonality…. They were orphans. One Peruvian baby
wrecked me….the book of James came alive in that moment….”Pure and undefiled
religion before God and the Father is this: To visit orphans and widows in
their time of trouble, and keep yourselves unspotted from the world.” These were
true orphans I was visiting, this baby would one day turn into a girl and then
a teen and then a woman… hopefully she would get adopted, but if not…. Then what?
I left that orphanage completely hopeless but then God made me hopeful, as we serve a God that takes the mess of the
Then What’s, and turns them into a Message and a story of hope, a miracle, and
forever family. He can take the orphan and turn them into a son or
daughter. BUT IT TAKES ACTION. It takes
people getting outside of their own comfort zones and going, and doing, and
being and saying yes…. It just takes someone saying yes. Yes I will plead the
cause of the orphan and the widow…. I will be the answer, in whatever capacity
I can be.
So fast forward to being married to the most amazing man
whom has also traveled the full globe, and shared the gospel on every continent
in the world (Minus the scientists and penguins in Antarctica), whom has seen
poverty in its complete rawness. Who has held orphans and talked with widows,
who has spent his life saying Yes I will go, and do, and be whatever because
Jesus I love you.
For us it wasn’t something we discussed after we said I do,
it was discussed prior to saying yes… Would you consider adopting some day? “Absolutely!
Me too…” It was a no brainer… what we needed
was the timing to be confirmed.
So after the third baby when we were done naturally having
kiddos, we asked God, is it time?
We got pregnant.
After the fourth baby when we were done naturally having
kiddos we asked God, what about now Lord?
We got pregnant.
Do you see a pattern?
After the fifth baby when we were legit done, done, done
having kiddos, we asked God, what about NOW Lord?
We got pregnant.
During this pregnancy we both happen to watch a video of a
teenager that had been in the foster care system for a long time, and I
remember looking at BJ with tears in my eyes…. I said, “We can make our table
bigger…” We prayed for that girl to be
matched with a family, but knew the timing wasn’t yet…
We had set the idea of adopting on the shelf, and knew that
one day maybe God would get it down and dust it off… but we were good, we
prayed about financially supporting other people’s adoptions, and that is still
and may forever be on our hearts… we thought well if we can’t adopt now, we
need to do something to support adoptions. God started leading and guiding our
hearts to be the one to adopt in our devotions and quiet times… BJ and I kept
checking in with each other… and finally we discussed it… I remember about 4
months ago, I showed BJ an adoption video of parents meeting their adoptive
sons. Of course I have tears rolling down my face, and he says, so what are we
doing? When are we adopting? I simply replied “I don’t know but I think it’ll
be sooner than we think.”
So we committed to pray….
Do we foster to adopt? That would make perfect sense since
we live in a small community surrounded by amazing friends whom lots have
answered the call to foster and adopt. Do we internationally adopt? Or do we do a private
domestic adoption?
We had a lot of reservations about foster care, but have
seen so many close friends walk through the hard and the amazing things that
come from it… we thought that this may be a great option as the state pays for
the actual adoption expenses. Whereas domestic private adoption and
international adoption can be rather pricey.
BJ came home the day before I went on a women’s retreat, and
asked me, “Is the financial reason the only reason we are considering adopting
through the foster care system?” I replied, “Yes, and that we have an amazing
support network surrounding us.”
He said lets pray about it… so we did that night…
I went on retreat…
the first night we were given journals and told that this
was a time with just us and Him…. God
spoke so much to my heart about adopting, through Pastor Kates notes…
*Keep your focus on God. He hasn’t gotten you this far to
ditch you now.
*Trust His timing
*Be assured of His goodness and
faithfulness.
*Continually surrender your plans
to Him.
The second night I remember worship
playing and I felt discouraged…I didn’t feel deserving of being a mom of more
than 6. Adoption was a gift to me, one that I felt undeserving of… why would
God give this gift to me? I scribbled down some things I heard the Lord saying
, and my responses… He said, “ Courtney Give it to Me, and rest and trust that I
have a GIFT to give you. I want to give you this GIFT. I can take an
undeserving feeling in your heart and bring fulfillment.
God, Who am I that you would love
me, lay down your life for me, I am so undeserving yet you count me worthy.
Adoption is a gift, a child is a gift, and a new home is a gift, all I am so undeserving
of.
Courtney, trust Me, I am ready to
give you every good and perfect gift. You are called to be a mother.
Lord, Is it possible to long for a
child so intensely as if they were already yours? Why would you give me the
desires of my heart?
Because Courtney the desires of
your heart, I put there! You need to stop guarding your heart and saying “If
God Wills…” in fear that I may not want to bless you with another child or two,
I do!
Ok God, Give me faith to trust what
you say, that your good and your love is great, I may be weak, but Your Spirit
is strong in me, my flesh may fail, but my God you never will….
As I sat there and listened to
songs with verses like : I have heard you calling me out beyond the shore into
the waves, you make me brave, no fear can hinder now the love that made a way….
And: and when the oceans rage, I don’t
have to be afraid, cause I know that you love me, and your love never fails…
the wind is strong and the water is deep…. You make all things work together
for my good…. You stay the same through the ages… these became truths that God
spoke over my life…
Many ladies prayed over me, one
compared me to when Simon Peter walked on water, and the storm that was going
on around him, he had to choose to take a step off the boat, a giant step of
faith… God has a gift He wants to give you, you just have to take the step of
faith… I heard another woman say you are called, anointed and He wants tod release
you into your calling…(to be a momma)
And then Kate spoke and shared in 1 Samuel
23:16-18 She reminded us that Jonathan helped David find strength in God.
He did that by taking the initiative
to go find him.
He calmed his fears and reassured
him.
He spoke truth to him, and
committed to stick with him and involved God in their commitment, and didn’t leave
until he knew David was strengthened once again.
These ladies had taken the
initiative to go and find me, they calmed my fears, and reassured me by
speaking Gods truth over me… they stayed there til I went from sobbing to
rejoicing… What friends they were to me.
I was reminded in a small group the
next day that He has not given us a calling that He does not equip us for… the
bible is chalk full of people who were not qualified…
I came home knowing from His still
small voice
I am called to be a mother of many
nations this meant international adoption..
I am called to parent kids from
hard places.
I am called to take a giant step of
faith, but know that I don’t take any steps alone.
I remember busting through the door…
looking up at BJ and him saying, “ Hey babe… the kids all greeted me with, “MOOOOMMMMMMMMMY!!!!”
it made my heart smile… I am called to be a mommy to many. Its no easy task.
Once we settled and BJ asked how my weekend was… I said, “We are called to
internationally adopt!” He said, “Yes we are.” God had been working in BJ’s
heart too.. Mine just takes more confirmation.
We are called to adopt.
There is always more room at our table.... we will just make it bigger.
